"The Happiness Project"

Happiness atop Mt. Spokane

One day while browsing thru my libraries digital books I came across "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin.  Finding more joy is something I have been thinking about so the title captured my attention.  The idea of a Happiness Project intrigued me and I liked the book so much I bought my own copy because I was itching to highlight my favorite thoughts.

Gretchen's Happiness Project takes her a year to complete. She put months of thought into it before she began her project and came up with a theme for each month and specific goals to focus on.  She began her project in January but I don't think I want to wait until January rolls around to begin.  I am thinking of starting mine in August when I turn the big 4-0.  I'm hoping it will gibe me something positive to focus on besides the fact that at age 40 I could be halfway through my life.

During this planning stage I have come up with a few themes I want to focus on but not twelve.  I don't actually know if I can come up with enough to spread my Happiness Project out for a year.  My other concern is that while the idea of a Happiness Project does sound appealing it may begin to fell more like work and I might end up ditching the whole thing after a few months.

My themes so far are: marriage, motherhood, spiritual well-being, exercise, friendship, emotional well-being and my relationship with food (particularly chocolate).  Still five more to come up with if it is to last an entire year.  Thankfully I still have time and so now I need to come up with goals for each theme.  But how in one month can I cover motherhood or marriage.  Both are a lifetime of growth.  Even so my heart tells me that it will be worth it because for one thing thats more than I am doing now. Being a better mother and a more supportive spouse is something I think about every day yet I rarely come up with an ideas on how to specifically improve in these two areas because I am so busy just trying to keep up with life from day to day.

Why Should I Say No?

My 3 boys

Over the years I have heard people say many times that women say yes to things way more than they should and that we should all start saying no a lot more often.  Some even go so far as to advise that we just say no to everything for a certain time period and that by doing so our lives will become more manageable and we will feel enormous weight lifted from our shoulders.  I have understood this advice to a certain degree but never really felt good about saying no.  I always feel disappointed when I ask someone for help and they decline.  However I read something recently that made this Yes/No dilemma perfectly clear to me.

In "Say Goodbye to Survival Mode" by Crystal Paine she says, "When I say yes to one thing, I must say no to something else."  Finally, I get it!  Recently I was asked to do something and I felt I should decline, so I did, but I felt guilty about it.  After reading this quote by Crystal the guilt is gone.  I had said no to helping out with a class at church because I knew it would take me away from being with my four month old baby.  So by saying no I was actually saying yes to spending time with my baby and  I never regret time spent with my children.  Now it's so much easier for me to understand that its a trade off.  Yes to one thing means no to something else and visa versa because I can only be in one place at a time and I can only accomplish one task at a time.  I just need to remember to think about what I am saying yes and no as I make my choices.